MTV Roadies 7 - 7 Deadly Sins, 1 Wild Safari

Roa7ies Ep1 Review: Kolkata Kinetics!

Roa7ies...7 Deadly Sins,1 Mellowed Auditions!

*Time frame 0.01-1.04*:Snazzy Editing Shots, Africans Smooching and Fighting!

Round 1:Online Shortlisting/Victim Searching

After the Delhi debacle last year, online shortlisting became a big part of Roa7ies auditioning! No more wearing skull T-shirts this time around, you had to prove how much of a badass you were by filling in snazzy form entries about fist fights and your wacky Youtube moments. The stack kept rising and as always the guys at MTV spent sleepless nights going over stuff like -" I have never been in fist fights, but would love to punch someone in the journey" and "Wackiest Moment- Winking at my 50 year old English teacher" . Well, you have to risk it, to get the biscuit!

Round 2: Growls & Drools(Group Discussions)

The shortlisted victims made their way through the GDs in typical Roa7ies fashion- lots of noise, barks, growls, abuses, stomach cramps and song-dance routines. Some shut the room up, some got shut up, while the others made as much noise as possible to impress the moderators. Less sense, more suffering for the moderators. LOTS of Suffering!

Round 3: Picking Idiots(Personal Interviews)

Nikhil, get back on a time machine to actually bring back some of the lost aggression! The semi-formal house warming party look is a major mismatch in Roa7iess. The same goes for Cyrus Sahukar who needs to stop adding random jokes every 2.345 seconds and actually do some bashing! Raghu and Rajeev's absence ruined the charm of the auditions for me-Sign A Petition: Bring Back The Oldies And Baldies!

P.S. Cyrus Brochea was WASTED! A talented guy like him needs more active part than playing overgrown babies and retarded funnyman. C'mon MTV!

Now onto the contestants!

Rakesh: Lots of "desipan"( Kailash Kher would love him) but not enough zing to make the cut! Too much of A-syndrome(Asutosh syndrome for the grinning pervs!) and lack of individuality to stand out among the others. Speedy talker, slow performer. REJECTED!

Sunny/Bunny/Unfunny Ghosh: The resident pooch barked a lot about his abilities( and bit a few poor saps) but did little to do justice to his hideous appearance and hilarious concepts about Roa7ies and life. Was promptly shown the exit doggy style. REJECTED!

Aratrika aka Megha: Papa ki pari, she did stutter in the beginning but came into her own. Coming from a turbulant emotional background, her take is admirable although her choice of boyfriends remains more than questionable. She was smart, confident and spoke her mind. No one was surprised when she got SELECTED!

PS:Needs to practice mental maths! Took her 5 minutes and 10 fingers to count 6 boyfriends!!

Varun: Average guy with a fear of snakes. Almost had a heart attack as he put his hands into a bowl with a "supposed" water snake. Turned out to be Rasgullas, the size which his eyes had become before opening the bowl. His sweet tooth was satisfied, but the judges were not. REJECTED!

Priyanka Roy: Lots of confidence in GD, a stuttering fumble in front of the cameras. Overcame her shyness and transformed into a Powder-Puff girl to save the world through Mountain Dew! Kyun ki darr ke age jeet hain!

Good confidence and spirit saw her turn the tables. SELECTED!

Eric & Mohini( Ajab Prem Ki Gazab Kahani): In came our RBG ka superstar Eric flashing a winning smile! Little did he know, a bit of attraction could be so fatal in a PI. While Mohini was genuinely cute, Eric's chivalrous loss at arm wrestling prompted the judges to call her in. What followed was joker fights, push ups, LOTS of girlish giggles from Eric, frosty nosed Mohini stares and Eric fumbling by the moment.

Judges gave Eric a run down as the poor guy argued his case only to break down infront of Bani. He stayed strong in his opinion, something that did not go unnoticed by the judges. By a surprising positive twist, SELECTED!

Vicky "Turbanator" Singh: The oldest one at the PI certainly had a young heart but his motives turned out to be all too selfish. While his wife and kid won the accolades from the judges, Vicky was left wondering whether he should have prepared for the PI more, or taken the long lost honeymoon instead. REJECTED!

Chitrangada: Nice heart, confused soul. She seemed genuine from a lot of angles, but the entire controversy of the alleged boyfriend/friend/acquaintance/lover/ partner in crime concept threw the judges off guard. The interview spiralled towards another direction altogether, as we learnt more about her wavelengths, but too little of herself. The judges were not impressed as she could not "direct" her visions as well as she would have liked.Shame, she had potential. REJECTED!

One more guy, Anwar made the cut, but his PI was never shown! MTV get your act together.

Final thoughts on the selected contestants:-

Aratrika- Confidence and fire to find her way in a crowd. Good survival chances.

Priyanka- Would find it difficult to get into groove. Needs to change.

Eric- Tasks he can master. Can he win friends that easily? Remains to be seen..but with good chances of survival!

Anwar- Needs to get himself shown on TV.A LOT.

Overall, Roa7ies seemed a lot milder and low on energy in comparison to the previous years. The gags replaced the abuses and a childish atmosphere ruined the sense of tension and excitement which was pivotal to the show.

The show seemed polished, but without a heart! This year, it may extend its reach to Grandmas looking for soft content TV.

Here's hoping the next episode would hold some promise as Roa7ies juggernauts through the heart of Chandigarh. As of now, the Kolkata Kinetics was just one BIG miscalculation!